


The Ends of the Earth

by Starralyse



Series: The Ends of the Earth [1]
Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Break Up, Custody Arrangements, Divorce, M/M, Post divorce soul-searching, Travel, World Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-13 03:04:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4505250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starralyse/pseuds/Starralyse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sonny sets off on a journey of self-discovery after his marriage falls apart. The Lonely Planet Guide to Break Ups.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Salem Prologue

The first Sonny knew that Will was leaving was when he saw his bags packed and sitting in the middle of their apartment.  ****

Will told him that he'd received an offer to work in LA as a script consultant for a movie based on one of his stories. It was too good an opportunity to pass up. 

 

"What story?" said Sonny. When Will didn't answer, Sonny knew it was about Paul. "If I hadn't come home early, were you even going to tell me?"

 

"I was waiting for you to get home. _Sonny_ , it's only for a few months, and then we'll be back." 

 

Will had it all worked out.

 

"We? Gabi knows about this?" As if called, Gabi came out of the bedroom holding Arianna with one arm and pulling a large travel suitcase in the other. She looked at Sonny warily. 

 

"You're all going," Sonny said, looking at Ari, and it wasn't a question. Ari smiled and reached for him, and he felt his heart tighten. Gabi shifted the baby onto her other arm, farther from him, as though she thought he might try to rip Ari out of her arms at any moment.

 

"I can't stay here," said Gabi, in the flat disaffected tone she'd used since prison. "Julie Williams pointed at me in the square last week, screaming, _"Murderer!"_ I can never make a fresh start here."

 

"Maybe, in time..." said Sonny.

 

Gabi shook her head.

 

"This is a good opportunity for us," said Will. "Try to understand."

 

"What if the same thing happens as last time? What if they're just using you for your name and your research? Do you really want to reveal the most intimate details of our lives to strangers, for _money_?"

 

"It doesn't have to be the truth," said Will. "It's a movie adaptation. _It's fiction_."

 

"People will think it's true. They'll think it's _our_ _life_."

 

"No," said Will. "They'll think it's _Paul's_ life." He looked at Sonny. "That's really what's bothering you, isn't it? This could be my chance - my _only_ chance - to get my career started again, and you're still more concerned about _Paul_."

 

"This isn't _right_ ," said Sonny stubbornly. He didn't want Will and Ari to leave. He didn't want their life to be in a movie. He didn't want everybody in the world to know that his husband had cheated on him with Paul. _Hadn't he been humiliated enough?_

 

Will said, "There has always been three people in our marriage. Even now, you're choosing him over us."

 

"You're the one choosing to leave," said Sonny. 

 

"I'm doing what's best for _us all_. For you and me, for Gabi, for Ari." said Will.

 

"I'm sure your mother used her family as an excuse too, to justify her actions. It doesn't make them right."

 

"I knew you wouldn't understand," said Will.

 

"You're chasing a _fantasy_ ," said Sonny, desperately.

 

"Is it such a surprise to you that someone out there could genuinely and honestly be interested in my writing? You've never supported it," said Will. "And the only fantasy here is thinking you ever would."

 

Will picks up his hand luggage and throws it over his shoulder.

 

"That's not true; I've always appreciated your writing," said Sonny. "Do you really need to go now; can't we talk about this?"

 

"I've already made the travel arrangements," said Will. "I'll Skype you when we get there."

 

"Can I say goodbye to Ari?" Sonny was talking to Gabi now, and she reluctantly lets her go. Ari's arms latch on to Sonny's neck easily.

 

"Hey Baby," said Sonny. He turns his back on Gabi and Will. "You have a good time out there won't you? I'll come out there and see you soon, I promise." He kissed her forehead. Ari tosses her head.

 

"We have to go now," said Will, after a moment. Sonny handed her back to him, refusing to meet his gaze.

 

"We'll call you," said Will.

 

"Goodbye, Sonny," said Gabi.

 

Sonny watched as his family walked out of their apartment.

 

 


	2. Los Angeles, California

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Get ready for the ultimate Hollywood experience. Tourists flock to Los Angeles for a star-studded glimpse of Hollywood celebrity, and a taste of it's fabled film-making past. From the hip beachside eateries, to the faded glamour of old Hollywood, Los Angeles is a multi-layered city that is a must-see location for any visitor to the California coast._

**_Los Angeles._ **

 

Sonny sold his share of Club TBD to Chad, and paid him the money he owed him. A week later he'd moved to Los Angeles to be with Will and Ari. 

 

For a while, life was good. Will seemed genuinely happy to see him, and Sonny thought they might have a genuine chance at fixing their marriage, now that they were both living in the same city. Will seemed happier to be here too; more relaxed. He'd gotten an LA tan and a fresh new haircut, and wore fashionable shirts and smart dark sunglasses. It was as if he was finally in his element, fielding calls on his mobile, making new contacts, and writing on his balcony in the warm Californian sun.  

 

For the first few days after Sonny's arrival Will devoted all of his time to showing Sonny the sights and sounds of LA. It was wonderful. For a while.  

 

The first note of discord came from Gabi, when she found out what happened to the money from the sale of Sonny's club.

 

"You gave it back to Chad?" said Gabi. "Why did you do that?"

 

"I owed it to him."

 

"But he wrote off the debt."

 

"I didn't," said Sonny. "I would have owed him forever."

 

"You think that Chad _DiMera_ needs another million dollars? _What about Ari? What about her future? Did you even think about that?"_

 

"It's okay, Gabi," said Will. "Ari is going to be fine. She has the three of us to take care of her, now." 

 

Will placed a hand on Gabi's shoulder, but Gabi shrugged it off and stalked out of the apartment. 

 

Sonny said, "I still have some of the money left over from the sale of the club."

 

Will smiled at him. "The money doesn't matter," he said. "I'm just glad you're here." He pressed his lips against Sonny's.

 

When they finally separated, Sonny said, "I'm glad I'm here, too."

 

**_Santa Monica_ **

 

In a city as large and sprawling as Los Angeles it was easy for Sonny to get lost. He often found himself spending his days on Santa Monica Beach, looking out at the surf with his dark sunglasses perched over his eyes. There were plenty of people there, jogging, walking and rollerblading, and he rarely saw the same person twice.

 

During the day, Ari went to a Hollywood crèche arranged by Gabi and Will. Sonny had wanted to look after her since he wasn't working, but Will and Gabi were happy with the crèche. Ari had regular planned activities (Llama day!) and was able to play with other children her own age. It would have been unfair to disrupt her routine. Sonny found himself spending his days alone until it was time to pick Ari up and take her home to their rented apartment. 

 

Will's movie project, titled, _"Playing For Keeps: The Paul Narita Story_ ", had achieved full financing and was going into production. Will was frequently absent from home, taking meetings and networking with Sami's Hollywood contacts. He would be gone early in the morning and not return until late. Some days Sonny would miss seeing him altogether. 

 

At the same time, Gabi won a part-time modelling contract for a trendy organic skincare brand and fell into acting, going to auditions for tv commercials, and modelling assignments. She made friends with a fashionable young LA crowd. There was one male friend in particular, who she went out with all the time; an actor/model named Trenton. Sonny could have told her that she was barking up the wrong tree with that relationship, but Sonny's relations with Gabi had been strained enough already since she'd been back, and his hints fell on deaf ears. 

 

Since her release from prison, Gabi had been moody and restless. Sometimes when she was with Arianna, she would hold her so tight and cry so hard that it would frighten the baby. Gabi didn't know what to do when Ari cried and wriggled frantically in her arms, trying to get free. Sonny told her that she just needed to give it time, but he couldn't help but be aware of the resentful looks Gabi gave him whenever Ari came to him so effortlessly and so easily. All of Gabi's old insecurities resurfaced, and the bickering and defensiveness that used to characterise their relationship started up again, pulling Will squarely in the middle. 

 

As Will's sessions with the movie's producers and writers began in earnest, a new dynamic entered his relationship with Will.

 

Will became distracted and quiet when they were alone. When Sonny reached for Will, he sometimes felt as if Will did not want him to touch him at all. Sonny asked him if anything was wrong, but Will refused to admit that anything was different at all. 

 

"I've been working all day," said Will. "And I'm tired. That's all it is. I just need sleep."

 

"Will," said Sonny, touching his shoulder. "I'm worried about us. I don't want us to end up where we were three months ago."

 

Will turned over in the bed and faced him. "We won't," he said, folding Sonny into a hug and stroking his back. "We _won't_."

 

Sonny lay there, feeling closer to Will than he had in weeks. He said, "How would you feel about continuing the counselling sessions that we started in Salem?"

 

"Sonny." Will pulled out of his embrace and Sonny missed the closeness already. "We don't need to see a marriage counsellor. Why do you keep pushing it?"

 

"I think we need to address that we have problems in our marriage. I really think a counsellor could help us." 

 

"I _can't_ do it right now," said Will. "This job is at a crucial stage and it's taking up all my time. What are we going to live off, if I don't work?"

 

"It won't be all the time, just one hour, once a week," said Sonny.

 

"But an LA shrink? Do you have any idea how much that would cost us?" said Will. "We can't afford it, not with Ari's crèche, and only one pay check between us."

 

"I have some money left from the sale of the club," said Sonny. "And I can find a job. I've been looking."

 

"I thought we agreed the club money was only for emergencies," said Will. 

 

"Maybe this _is one_ ," said Sonny earnestly. 

 

"I need to get some sleep for tomorrow," Will said, turning away from him. 

 

**_Malibu_ **

 

At the party for _Playing for Keeps_ , Will introduced Sonny to Stanley Meyer, one of the producers of the film. 

 

"I've been wanting to meet Will's husband for ages," said Stanley, taking his hand in a bear-like grip and shaking it profusely. "Will keeps promising to bring you down to the studio, but it seems like you're always too busy. How do you like Los Angeles so far? Is this your first time?" 

 

Sonny said, "I've passed through once before, when I was travelling around the country, after my second year of college. Years ago, now. This is the longest I've ever stayed."

 

"Ah," said Stanley. "2010, am I right? That would have been the year that Paul hit the home run out of Dodger Stadium."

 

Sonny was puzzled. "Excuse me?"

 

Stanley's assistant coughed. The producer looked at Sonny and Will, then looked awkwardly away. 

 

Will said, "I've been showing Sonny around Venice and Malibu."

 

"You should take him out to the Sunset Strip," said Stanley's assistant, Veronica. "Everybody goes there at least once. It's really fun."

 

"That's a great idea," said Will. 

 

The conversation lagged. 

 

"Will has been doing great work on this film, great work," said Stanley. "I never realised when we hired him that he was such a gifted writer. You should be proud."

 

"I am," said Sonny. 

 

Will took his hand and held it. 

 

"Well," said Stanley, "I think this is my cue to mingle. Gentlemen, it was a pleasure, but the party calls. Be sure to get Ernie to mix you a drink. He is the King of Cocktails. One day someone will come up with a mixed drink that'll stump him, but it hasn't happened yet."

 

Stanley shook Sonny's hand, then patted Will on the shoulder. He whispered something to him that Sonny couldn't quite hear before he left.

 

When they were alone, Sonny said, "What was that about?"

 

"Nothing," Will chivvied him to a seat on the bar. "Don't worry about it."

 

"Why did he think I knew about Paul's home run? Is that going to be in the movie?"

 

"I don't know," said Will. He looked away. 

 

"Will?" said Sonny. "What's going on?"

 

Will pulled him out of the crowded room and they stepped onto the empty balcony. The lights from the room angled onto the deck, painting Will's face half in light, half in shade. 

 

"Tell me," said Sonny. 

 

So Will did. 

 

"The producers, they've been working on this film for a while. They have all of these video archives - and all these photos of Paul at every game and every public appearance he's ever been in - so they can replicate his games, the stadiums, the people for the film," says Will. "What he was wearing, the way he turns out his arm, his stance, before he makes a throw."

 

Sonny says, "What does that have to do with anything?"

 

"In these photos, you can find faces of all the people that Paul ever associated with; everyone who went to his games, everyone who took a photo with him. And then there's the one of you and Paul standing together in Horton Square, at the benefit for the orphan's baseball team. Someone filed it, and tagged you. But then your tag kept appearing, through the program's facial recognition feature, in the background of all these other photos from Paul's 2010-2011 baseball season. From Fenway Park to Dodger Stadium, you kept showing up in the background of his games and publicity appearances."

 

Sonny was silent. 

 

"You followed the tour," said Will. "Every game. Probably for all we know, every public appearance as well."

 

"Are they putting any of that in the film?" said Sonny. 

 

Will laughed humorlessly. "Can't you guess? Sonny, you're the _love interest_."

 

"But what about Salem? Everything that happened?"

 

"They didn't want to use it. _Playing for Keeps_ is a cross between 'Brokeback Mountain" and "Almost Famous". It's a _love story._ In the movie, your husband is barely acknowledged," said Will. "Except as an impediment to your getting together with Paul. And my character is some naive _cub sports reporter_ who has followed his hero, Paul, in the news headlines for _years_ until he goes on the road with the team for Paul's final baseball season. In this version, I never even slept with Paul."

 

"That would have been nice," said Sonny. 

 

"Yeah? Well I could have done without finding out, in front of everyone I work with, that my husband was a _groupie_ ," said Will. 

 

"That isn't- It wasn't like that," said Sonny. 

 

"I saw the pictures," said Will. "Did you think I didn't know about the home-run ball? It was sitting in our desk drawer for years, until Paul came to town, and suddenly it wasn't there any more."

 

"I only went to see him to put things straight," said Sonny.

 

"And you did a really great job, because he's still hanging around, months later," said Will. "And I think that's how you want it."

 

"I chose you. I told you that. I told him that, _dozens of times_ ," said Sonny. "Paul is not the issue between us. How many times do I have to repeat the same thing over and over again?"

 

"He obviously didn't believe you. I am not sure that I would have either," said Will. "You keep talking about therapy, trying to push it on me, but I think you need to figure out what your real feelings are about Paul. When you figure that out, then we can talk about our marriage."

 

Will walked away. 

 

 


	3. Park City, Utah.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Park City, Utah, voted one of the 20 prettiest cities in America by Scenic Traveller magazine, is a place where nature, the arts, and tourism collide. In the shadow of the Wasatch Back Range, Park City is a popular skiing location during Winter, boasting three world-class ski resorts, surrounded by mountain ranges rising up to 10,000ft. During late January, Park City plays host to the Sundance Film Festival, one of the largest independent film festivals in America. Once a small select festival for independent film, the Sundance Film Festival has grown in later years to include major releases from Hollywood studios._

* * *

At the party for Will's film, Sonny watched from the other side of the room, as Will chatted with a handsome young studio executive. The guy was tilting his head towards Will, murmuring, close enough for his breath to heat Will's cheek. Will threw back his head and laughed.  
  
Sonny felt a touch on his arm, and it was the documentary maker from earlier, back with his drink. He'd been talking to Sonny all night, telling him about his new project.  
  
"It's a series about the survival instinct of the modern man," the documentary maker said. "We've all gotten too soft, too comfortable, living in armchairs. This is all about man versus the mountains."  
  
Sonny nodded. He was only half listening.

He watched the young executive put his hand on Will's shoulder. Sonny stared at it; at them. Will had gotten so much attention since they'd come here that things like this had become common; Will being 'courted' by Hollywood hot shots who wanted to hear about his next project.

The Paul Narita movie hadn't officially screened yet, but 'everyone' seemed to have seen it anyway, and the word at the festival was that it was a hit. Stanley was touting Will as the whiz-kid who made it all happen and Will was blossoming under the attention, clearly pleased, but still trying to be humble.

The documentary maker spoke again, and Sonny had to make a conscious effort to pay attention.

"-they'd be living like the rugged mountain men of yesteryear, up in the mountains without any of the modern conveniences - no shopping malls, cars or phones. No, electricity, ovens or microwaves. And _no computers_ ," he said. "Life reset back to the basics. Technology-free. _Raw and untamed."_

Sonny said, "That's going to make it very difficult to shoot, isn't it? Without a video camera?"

The documentary maker looked nonplussed for a moment. "We'll still be shooting with a video camera," he said. "It's just the lifestyle bits that will be _untamed_."

Sonny turned to look at Will again, but he was no longer there. The young executive was gone as well. Sonny scanned the room for them.

He made his excuses and left, but not without the documentary maker pressing his card on Sonny first.

On his way up the elevator, he was joined in the lift by the same young executive who had been talking to Will earlier, talking and laughing with an attractive young brunette woman.

Sonny felt the knot of tension in his stomach slowly unfurl.

 

* * *

  
  
**_Wasatch Back, Utah._**  
  
After it had screened, _Playing For Keeps_ was one of the most talked about releases at the festival, and Will had been at the centre of the maelstrom, joining Stanley at press meetings and Q &A panels.   
  
"We'll get to spend more time together when all the fuss dies down," said Will, kissing him on the cheek. "In the meantime, why don't you enjoy the surroundings? Visit the town, or go on the ski-lift?"  
  
Sonny decided to take the day off to ski on one of the peaks, and Gabi stayed behind, taking care of Ari by herself. Her friend Trenton hadn't been seen around the hotel much in the last few days. He was not a baby person.  
  
Sonny suited up for the snow.

Even though it was peak skiing conditions, with a strong snowfall on the ski slopes, there weren't the crowds of people Sonny would have expected on the mountain. Most of the tourists had come to see the festival.

Sonny bypassed the most popular ski runs, skiing cross-country, and switched to snow shoes to climb higher, until all the visitors to the mountain were left far behind. Sonny felt a moment of relief at being genuinely alone.

It was strangely quiet on Sonny's mountain peak; a silent wilderness blanketed with soft, sound-deadening, white snow. The air was cold with the pure chill of Winter; Sonny's breath misted and the glare of the sun on the snow-covered mountains made his eyes water. A cool breeze snapped against his face, and soft snow fell on his head, hands and shoulders; sinking into his clothes, and melting on his skin.  
  
"Sonny?" said a man's voice. "Is that you?"  
  
Sonny was startled. From the middle of nowhere a very familiar figure walked towards him.

"Brent?" he said, incredulously.

"Man," said Brent, enveloping him in a massive bear-hug. "It's great to see you."

Brent's camp site was a short walk away, and Sonny soon found himself huddled in front of an outdoor fire with a hot cup of tea cocooned between his hands. Brent had been making himself busy, starting the fire and brewing the tea, but now he came and sat next to Sonny and relaxed.

They spoke about Brent's trip to Bryce Canyon and his aspirations to give up his day job as an interior designer and become a full-time adventurer/guide. He said he couldn't afford to do it. His interior design job was too lucrative to give up. 

Sonny told him that he was in town for the Paul Narita movie and explained Will's connection to it. Brent said he'd sort of heard about it, and that he was sorry. Sonny looked away, embarrassed. He didn't know how much Brent had heard, but he wouldn't have been surprised if it was all of it.

Then Brent said, "I never realised that you were connected to a bona fide celebrity, or I would have asked you to get me his autograph."

Sonny laughed and it became easier to talk about the situation with Will, Paul, and Gabi after that. Brent listened quietly, asking a few short questions for clarification, but saying nothing until Sonny appeared to reach the end.

Brent said, "Does Will know how you feel about Paul?"

"I can't say anything about Paul to Will. It would just set him off."

"I get that, believe me," said Brent, thinking about the last few times he'd spoken to Will. "But maybe it's time to take off the kid gloves. I mean, you can tell me it's none of my business, but Will strikes me as the kind of guy who is going to imagine the worst, anyway. He once accused me of trying to come between you."

"I didn't know that," said Sonny.

"My point is, that instead of having him chase phantoms, maybe it's time to be real and lay it on the line that you have real feelings for Paul, too."

"But he is already paranoid that I love Paul more, wouldn't this just sort of be confirming it for him?"

"Yes and no," said Brent. "Before he was just guessing. If you tell him what your real feelings are for Paul, he'll have a choice: to fight for the marriage, or walk away. But at least this time he will have a real sense of what he's up against. Maybe if his fears are grounded in reality, he will actually take real steps to save the marriage, instead of playing off tricks, or trying to ignore it."

Sonny knew his marriage was failing. They were polite to each other, and they traded quick hello and good night kisses each morning and night, but the intimacy, the closeness, was gone. And wasn't Brent just suggesting what Will had asked for all along? For Sonny to be honest about his feelings for Paul?

He thought Brent could be right. This thing, though - it could either make or break his marriage. He needed to think about it seriously.

They said their goodbyes. Just before Sonny left, he remembered the guy from last night, and pulled a card out of his pocket.

"This is probably a long-shot," said Sonny, "but I met a documentary maker last night who is making a mountain survival series for the networks and might be hiring some guides for it soon. I just thought, there may be some work in it for you, if you're interested."

Brent took the card. "Yeah, I think I've heard of him before. I'll give him a call."

 

* * *

 

_**Sundance Resort, Park City** _

 

When Sonny returned from the mountain, Gabi, Ari and Will weren't in the hotel suite. There was an events program for the film festival on the table, and Sonny noticed that a matinee screening of Will's movie was starting in less than half an hour.

Sonny still hadn't seen it.

He knew that Will had played a major role in developing the script, and he supposed that that was what he was afraid of the most; seeing what Will thought of him on screen. But hadn't Will himself said that it would just be a story? _Fiction_?

In the darkness of the cinema, Sonny sat and watched Will's movie alone. By half time, he realises the movie isn't really about Sonny and Paul at all.

It's about Will. 

\---

 _Playing For Keeps_ tells the story of an idealistic young sports reporter who follows his baseball idol across America for the interview of a lifetime, and in the process becomes seduced by his glamorous celebrity lifestyle, falling for the charms of a sexy young Hollywood starlet.

 _Movie-Will_ discovers that _movie-Paul_ is gay, by catching him in bed having sex with a _man_ , (flamboyantly gay, latino _movie-Sonny_ ). It is the beginning of Will's emotional coming of age. He is disappointed to learn that the whole of Paul's life is a lie, when he'd pretended to Will that everything was so great, and encouraged Will to believe it. Will discovers that it is unwise to imagine real people as idols, because they will inevitably turn out to be flawed.

He is faced with an ethical dilemma about choosing fame and ambition - and outing Paul in his article - or keeping Paul's secret. A phone call from his small-town girlfriend gives him disastrous news: she is pregnant. He tells Paul, who is sympathetic and kind. In the end, Will chooses to support Paul, acting as a go-between for Sonny and Paul's secret affair, delivering messages, and helping to keep Sonny a secret from Paul's baseball team. 

In bed, Sonny proposes marriage to Paul. When Paul refuses Sonny, Sonny leaves him, and Will tries to convince him that Paul still needs him.

On the verge of achieving a new baseball record, Paul develops an injury which takes him out of professional baseball permanently. Paul gives Will permission to tell his story in print, and gets back together with Sonny, leaving his fake life behind, whilst Will becomes famous for his article after all, but chooses instead to return home to his pregnant girlfriend, older and wiser, prepared to take on his real-life responsibilities.

\---

Will thought that Sonny and Paul were a romance movie, but for Sonny, it was never like that. He'd been attracted to Paul from the very first, but it was through knowing him better that he really started to like him; for his kindness, his intelligence, and his generosity. Those things were a part of Paul, and never changed. Sonny would always love him for that. Sonny was less fond of Paul's occasional displays of arrogance, or the exaggerated sense of his own status that lead to his assumption that Sonny's life could revolve around his like a satellite indefinitely. 

It was Sonny who changed the most; it wasn't enough for him to follow Paul from place to place as his sometimes lover and bed partner. Sonny wanted something for himself that was completely his own; someone with whom he could share his life and Paul was never willing to make that commitment.

Then Sonny met Will. 

They were friends at first. Then later something more.

It wasn't the greatest start. It was often too much of one thing and not enough of the other. They were wildly unbalanced in terms of personal feelings, sexual experience, and temperament. There were misunderstandings, false starts. But as they developed as a couple, Sonny felt as if their differences all cancelled each other out.

His wedding to Will was one of the happiest days of his life. Sonny found a peaceful kind of joy in his home life that tempered his restlessness and need for travel.

It doesn't seem to have been the same for Will. After a few months of marriage their relationship started to tilt off balance again. 

Will's movie had given him hope that Will saw a value in their life together and wanted to be with him and Ari as a family. Sonny felt that if they could just manage to communicate to each other, openly and honestly, they could still have a chance. 

He called Will's mobile, but it was turned off and kept going to message. In the hotel room, Sonny searched Will's belongings for Stanley Meyer's phone number. He thought that Will might be with his producer. He looked through Will's folder, and carry bag, until he found the number. Stanley answered, and said that Will was not with him. He said Will had told him that he wanted to find somewhere quiet to write his new movie treatment. Sonny remembered seeing a swipe key in Will's drawer that didn't match their room number, and he took the three flights upstairs to try the room's lock.  

If Will was here, Sonny thought he would surprise him. 

He swiped the key in the door pushed it open.


	4. Lonely Planet Guide to Travel 2010 Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback chapter to 2010/2011. Past Sonny/Paul.

 

2010

****

The semester Sonny had taken off from college had turned into a year living out of his backpack and travelling the world, sometimes with friends, but mostly alone, visiting some of the greatest historical and holy sights in the world.

 

He recruited his friend Brent to go mountain-climbing with him in the Himalayas, and they'd spent months training so they could complete the arduous trek up K2. Any spare time Sonny had left after training had been spent researching, planning, and dreaming of reaching the peak.

 

K2 had been amazing and life-changing. There they'd been, standing on a mountain-peak that had been millions of years in the making - and was still ancient when the first humans had evolved from the primordial soup. Standing at the summit, Sonny's old life had seemed so far away.

 

If Sonny had believed in the existence of God, then he would have believed that this was where the creator's hand had touched the Earth.

 

* * *

 

 

Sonny returned to the United States feeling rootless and adrift.

 

It seemed that whilst he'd been away, he had changed, yet the life he came back to still remained the same. He questioned whether returning to the University of Texas to complete his business degree was really what he wanted to do with his future.

 

After spending a month in Texas, Sonny took a bus to Phoenix, to visit his brother Alex and his parents. It was joyful seeing his family again. Alex's baby had started to walk, and it was strange (but sweet) to see his brother as a parent. Sonny couldn't ever imagine becoming a father; he didn't think that he could stay put in one place for long enough.

 

He made the decision to defer his studies for another six months. His mom and dad had their concerns, but he thought he'd allayed those until he happened to overhear them talking on Alex's porch.

 

“I can't help but worry about him,” said his mother, “He seems so lost.”

 

“He'll be fine,” said his dad. “He's young. What we need to do is to step back as parents, and give him the space to find his own path, and make his own mistakes.”

 

“I know that,” said his mom. “Intellectually, I know that, but I just can't help wanting to give him the benefit of our experience. I don't want him to be lonely.”

 

His dad said, “Sonny has always had plenty of friends.”

 

“That's not what I meant,” said his mom.

 

Sonny returned to his room and laid on his mattress for a long while, listening to the crickets outside the window, before he eventually drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

After trekking through the Amazon rainforest with a tour group, Sonny looked forward to visiting the monumental ruins at Machu Picchu; an ancient Incan city of some 170 plus buildings, situated almost two thousand feet above sea level. His recent climb up K2 had acclimated him to the high altitudes, and he was able to make it up the massive 1700 step climb comfortably, even if he couldn't quite manage to run the entire way up to the top. Once at the sacred site, Sonny was awed by its masterfully engineered terraces, famous mortar-free stonework, and it's mystical location, perched high above the clouds.

 

It was in Brazil, after he he lost his mobile phone to a pick-pocket on the bus to Salvador, that Sonny's luck started to turn. 

 

On the way back to his hotel, after partying with friends in Rio de Janeiro, he was accosted by street thugs looking for money, and left bruised and battered on the side of the street. Sonny lost consciousness staring up the mountainside at the blazing white night-lit figure of Christ the Redeemer, opening his arms to the night.

 

It felt like a sign.

 

Minutes later, he was found by his friends on their way out of the bar, and they took him back to his hotel room and stayed with him for the rest of the night. 

 

The next morning Sonny decided that it was time to go back to the United States. 

 

* * *

 

**San Francisco**

 

Sonny was at a party in San Francisco hosted by a friend of some friends of his. He'd arrived here with them, but they had separated earlier in the evening to try their luck mingling with the single men at the party.

 

Sonny hadn't met anybody here he'd clicked with, so he found himself standing alone next to the buffet, picking at the food for the second time that evening. Usually, Sonny had no trouble making new acquaintances, but something about the evening had flattened him; turning him into a wallflower, flowing around the edges of the party but never really joining in.

 

If Sonny was the wallflower of the party, then the man at the other end of the buffet was the star. Sonny had been observing him, and he'd been the centre of attention all evening, as an unending stream of people had flowed towards and around him, laughing and talking.

 

He had an engaging laugh, and a beautiful open smile. Everything about him appealed to Sonny. If the opportunity had presented itself, Sonny might have gone over and talked to him, but it never did, so Sonny veered towards the buffet instead, and put some arepas, miso-glazed eggplant, and sushi finger food on a plate.

 

A voice behind him said, “If you're stealing the finger food, I recommend the harumaki.”

 

Sonny turned around. It was the man from the other end of the buffet. He smiled at Sonny. Up close, he had the most beautiful green eyes.

 

“Here,” he said, reaching around Sonny. His arm brushed against Sonny's back as he put a small crispy roll on Sonny's plate.

 

“I won't tell," he said and winked.

 

“There's nothing _to_ tell," said Sonny. "I'm eating, not stealing.”

 

“Ah, but I asked around and nobody seemed to know who you were. So I _deduced_ that you had to be a party crasher.” He seemed too amused to be angry, and Sonny smiled in spite of himself.

 

“Maybe you just asked the wrong people,” Sonny said.

 

“Maybe. What's the host's name?”

 

“Hugo?” said Sonny.

 

He shook his head. “That was a terrible guess. I don't think I should let you have this food after all.” He plucked Sonny's plate out of his hands.

 

“Hey!” said Sonny.

 

He raised the plate above and behind him, just out of Sonny's reach.

 

“Tell me your name and I'll give it back,” he said.

 

“Sonny.”

 

“Sonny, _what_?”

 

“Sonny Kiriakis.”

 

“Very original.” He passed the plate back. “I'm Paul.”

 

“Paul, _what_?” said Sonny.

 

Paul laughed.

 

A friend of Paul's came over and started talking to him. Sonny started to feel left out of the conversation when they started talking about baseball. Sonny hadn't followed any American sports when he'd been overseas.

 

Paul tried to pull him back into the conversation and Sonny had to admit that he hadn't followed the baseball season. He didn't even know which team had won.

 

The other man, (his name was Ross), looked embarrassed for him.

 

“You don't like baseball?” Paul asked.

 

“I like it,” said Sonny. “I just haven't kept up. I've been travelling overseas for most of the year.”

 

"So overseas hotels don't have internet now?" scoffed Ross. 

 

"Next time you go mountain climbing in the Himalayas, you try checking for wi-fi," said Sonny. 

 

Ross ignored him and suggested that Paul come with him and meet his friends by the bar.

 

Paul said, “Thanks, but I'm absolutely starving right now. I'm just going to grab a bite to eat.” He took Sonny's plate and bit into his harumaki.

 

Ross said, "Well if you change your mind..."

 

Paul didn't, and he left.

 

Paul looked back at Sonny and smiled.

 

"Hello," he said.

 

Sonny said, "You should probably think twice before you accuse _other_ _people_ of stealing food."

 

“Grab a plate and come with me," Paul said. "I know somewhere where we can go and eat and not be disturbed.”

 

* * *

 

Paul's idea of a place where they wouldn't be interrupted was the rooftop terrace, a quiet silent place with a rickety table, a few sun lounges and a spectacular night-time view of the traffic travelling over the distant Golden Gate Bridge.

 

Paul dragged over one of the lounges to where Sonny was standing looking out at the view.

 

“So, The Himalayas?” said Paul. “I take that to mean you're not afraid of heights?”

 

“No,” says Sonny. “This is a great view.”

 

“Yes,” says Paul, looking at Sonny. “It is.”

 

Sonny felt butterflies whirl and then settle in his stomach.

 

Paul put their plates on the rickety table.

 

Sonny sat next to Paul. There was a bit of an awkward silence now that they were completely alone together. Sonny broke it.

 

“So, who did win the series?” he said.

 

“My team,” said Paul. “The San Francisco Giants.”

 

“ _Duh_ ,” said Sonny slapping his forehead with he flat of his palm. “And we're in _San Francisco_ and that guy was probably also a fan. Talk about putting my foot in it.”

 

Paul stared at him. A little incredulously, Sonny thought.

 

“What did I say?” said Sonny.

 

“You really don't know who I am do you?” said Paul.

 

“If you recall, I asked, but you never told me,” said Sonny.

 

“That's right,” said Paul.

 

He inched closer to Sonny.

 

“The thing is,” he said. “I saw you hovering around the buffet table several times tonight. I thought you might have been wanting to talk to me.”

 

“Maybe I was just hungry?” said Sonny. The butterflies started fluttering madly.

 

“Yes, I thought of that,” said Paul, placing his arm behind Sonny's back and leaning in, “But we've been here for almost five minutes now, and you haven't even looked at your plate.”

 

Paul's gaze drifted to Sonny's lips.

 

“Are you still hungry, Sonny?” he said.

 

Sonny nodded.

 

Paul gently slid his fingertips along Sonny's cheek, and then traced Sonny's lower lip with his thumb.

 

“For food?”

 

Sonny stared at Paul with wide eyes. His gaze drifted to Paul's lips. They looked so soft. Sonny's butterflies were practically knocking each other out in a frenzy by now.

 

Paul braced his hands around Sonny's jaw and Sonny grabbed at his shoulders for balance. Paul's lips were soft and the kiss felt like it lasted forever.

 

* * *

 

Half an hour later, Sonny was still making out with this stranger he'd met at a party, and they'd moved from kissing to heavy petting. Hands and lips and tongues and teeth; biting, sucking and rubbing. Sonny pulled Paul's t-shirt from his jeans and was running his hands over Paul's back, and rubbing their still clothed bodies together trying to feel him through friction.

 

Part of him was wondering whether he was really going to do this, here and now. He heard himself making a whimper – which he tried to suppress – but then, _fuck_ , Paul's hand dipped down and cupped Sonny through the denim, and he couldn't stop the groan of pleasure that ripped from his throat.

 

Paul said, “ _Fuck_ ,” and eagerly started unsnapping the buttons of Sonny's pants, pulling at them.

 

But Sonny said, “Wait, wait-”

 

And Paul said, “What's the matter?”

 

“Are we really going to do this here?” said Sonny.

 

Paul said, “Don't you want to?”

 

Sonny said, “I do. It's just – it's just -”

 

Sonny realised what he wanted. He wanted Paul to want to see him again. To want to take his name and number, and not just be some random sexual encounter in the night.

 

All Sonny said was, “I don't even know anything about you. I don't even know your full name, or anything.”

 

“I'm Paul Narita,” said Paul, kissing Sonny fiercely.

 

When they emerged from the kiss, Sonny was breathless.

 

“Like the baseball player?” he said.

 

“Exactly like the baseball player,” said Paul, trailing his hands down Sonny's chest, and tugging at the waistband of Sonny's jeans, freeing Sonny from the fabric.

 

“Wait, you said _“your team”_? Are you _“the” Paul Narita_? The star pitcher for the San Francisco Giants?”

 

“Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner,” said Paul.

 

“But you're _famous_ ,” said Sonny.

 

“You _know me_ , now?” said Paul.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then why are we still talking?”

 

Paul wrapped his arms around Sonny and kissed him hungrily, and Sonny clung to him as he was lowered against the lounge chair. 

 

 

* * *

 

2011

 

**Atlanta.**

 

Sonny could talk to Paul about almost anything. Paul was educated, intelligent and well-travelled. He listened to Sonny talk about everything from preparation methods for Yak Butter Tea, to Prop 8, to Sonny's belief that there was life on other planets. ( _Not that we'll ever find out, said Sonny, the planets are too far away to travel to in our lifetimes. But there has to be!)_

 

Paul spoke about the places he'd travelled to as well, and put Sonny in stitches recounting stories about hilarious fan greetings and his weirdest encounters with the rich and famous.

 

When he wanted to be, Paul could be so, so charming. 

 

Other times, he would provoke Sonny with some stupid comment designed to fire Sonny up - and Sonny would fall for it every single time. 

 

During these times they would eventually work out their differences the best way they knew how - tumbled together in a torrent of bed sheets and a sweaty tangle of limbs - rocking, thrusting and fucking with frenzied and graceless abandon, until they collapsed boneless and breathless on the bed.

 

And Paul would _still_ refuse to take his stupid comment back.

 

After settling one of these "differences" over the symbolic and ancient religious significance of Machu Picchu, Paul was laying back on the pillows with such a smug expression that Sonny turned towards him and punched him on the shoulder.

 

“You don't have to look so pleased with yourself," Sonny said. "You're _still_ _wrong_.”

 

Paul smiled at him from his pillow.

 

“I love you,” he said. It was the first time he'd ever said it. 

 

Sonny said, "I love you, too."

 

* * *

 

**Arlington.**

 

In the hotel suite in Arlington, Paul talked to his team mate in the bedroom, whilst Sonny hid in the bathroom wearing one of the hotel's towelling robes.

 

Sonny had gotten tired of standing by the door and listening for the player to leave, so he'd decided to crouch instead, but his leg had started to cramp, and he'd changed positions, stretching his legs out along the hard tiled floor and straightening them against the wall.

 

He didn't know how long he'd been waiting.

 

When Paul finally came for him, Sonny was miserable, angry and humiliated. Things like this were becoming more and more common as he followed Paul to his post-season engagements. But Paul always found a way to soothe Sonny and smooth things over, and even if it the situations still stung, Sonny knew that Paul was worth it.

 

Sonny had fallen deeply and head-over-heels in love.

  

* * *

 

**Amsterdam**

 

Sonny felt the giddy joy of staying in a country where the name _Paul Narita_ wasn't a household name.

 

Sonny could go out in public with Paul and forget that he had to be discreet. They behaved like an ordinary couple; going to dinner, shopping for food, going to clubs, eating out, holding hands. Acting like horny teenagers making out in the back of their rental car and going to their rental house near the canal to make out in every room like crazed lust bunnies. 

 

And Sonny, who had never thought that he could love anybody quite as much as he loved Paul _right now_ , thought it might be a good time to ask Paul if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him too. 

 

It was a little bit crazy, because he knew that Paul had said he hadn't wanted to come out, but this holiday had opened Sonny's eyes to the life they could have, if they were just allowed ... _to be_.

 

If it was to happen between them, then this was the place, and this was the time that fate intended it to be, because Sonny just couldn't hold off any longer. 

 

And Sonny said, "I've got a crazy idea. What if we ...?"

 

"Yes?" Paul smiled knowingly, and Sonny thought that Paul may have already guessed what Sonny wanted to ask. 

 

"... got married?" said Sonny. 

 

Paul's smile faltered.

 

He said, "You are joking, right?"

 

And he could see by Sonny's disappointed face that he hadn't been. 

 

“You know I can't come out in public,” said Paul. “It would ruin my career.  _You said_ you understood.  _You said_  you were okay with it.”

 

And it was true that Sonny  _had said that_ , and for a while (a very short time at the start of their relationship),  _he had been_  okay with it. But he never realised that Paul had meant  _forever_. That Sonny would have to tacitly consent to it,  _forever,_ with no chance of ever changing Paul's mind, or acknowledging his own misgivings.

 

And in Sonny's mind, he had thought that in time Paul would get used to the idea of coming out, and then Sonny could be there to support him when he did. He always believed that Paul would come to see the need to tell his mother and his grandfather that he was gay,  _and let them know him_ , before it was too late.

 

Paul said he never promised him to come out. He never promised him any more than he was able to offer right now. Why wasn't that ever enough for Sonny?

 

And it was absolutely no consolation for Sonny to know that Paul had told the truth, and it had been Sonny who had been lying to himself the whole time.

 

 


	5. San Francisco

_West Hollywood, Los Angeles, California_

 

Victor's LA summer mansion was located on a hilly rise in West Hollywood. As Sonny walked up the long driveway, the curved windows and grotesque statues stared out at him from the late afternoon shadows. There was a vintage car in the circular drive, encircling a decorative fountain, and the entry way was framed by twin palms. A man walked out from the house wearing a light coloured suit.

 

"Hi, Dad," said Sonny.

 

"Sonny." His father wrapped him in a warm hug. 

 

"Let me take your bag," he said. 

 

They walked into the house together. The interior of the house was even grander than the exterior. A large lobby with two mirror-image graceful staircases leading to a mezzanine landing. 

 

Sonny said, "Leave it to uncle Vic to find a creepy old mansion in the Sunny State."

 

They had coffee and cake together in the sun room and talked about trivial things for a while: Sonny's snow tan, Justin's pale suit, the difficulty of growing palm trees in Salem.

 

Sonny said, "Will is divorcing me."

 

His father said, "I know. How are you holding up?"

 

Sonny said, "It doesn't seem real somehow."

 

Justin said, "Your mother asked me to give you a hug. Now seems as good a time as any." He got up and put his arms around Sonny.

 

Sonny didn't know when he started to cry, but suddenly he couldn't stop. He held on to his dad, and Justin told him that it would be all right.

 

It was the first time he'd cried in his father's arms in almost twelve years. The last time was when he came out to him for the first time. 

 

* * *

 

Justin offered to take care of some of the practicalities, so Sonny handed him his divorce papers.

 

Justin said, "California is a no-fault divorce state, so you are entitled to fifty percent of the earnings he made during the time you were still married."

 

"It's his money," said Sonny. "I don't want it."

 

"Regardless," said Justin. "You're still entitled to it. Do you still have any money left over from the sale of TBD?"

 

Sonny said, "Not much. We used most of it on the rent."

 

"I think we should talk about Ari. Do you still see her?"

 

"When I can," said Sonny, "but Gabi is doing a lot of modelling assignment work, and keeps changing and postponing the dates to accomodate her schedule. I haven't been able to see Ari at all this week."

 

"She shouldn't do that," said Justin. "You should be allowed visitation. What does Will say?"

 

"Most of the time Will isn't there. When he is, he doesn't want to get in the middle. I think Gabi is still mad at him, for - you know."

 

"I can talk to Gabi and see if I can arrange regular visitation times," said Justin. 

 

"That may only make her mad at me, if she thinks I am siccing my lawyer onto her," said Sonny. "I don't want to do that."

 

"I'm also your father. I'll be tactful," said Justin. 

 

Sonny nods. 

 

"About Will's money," said Justin. 

 

"Dad - " said Sonny. 

 

"Hear me out. You have no job and no income and you still need to provide for Ari, if you want to keep up your claim as a parent. I think you need to take it," said Justin. 

 

"I don't think that Gabi and Will are intentionally trying to keep me away from Ari," said Sonny. "It's just scheduling."

 

Justin says, "You may not think that now, but I have been involved in many divorce and custody cases, where the parties involved have said and felt similar things. You would be surprised at how quickly these things can turn bad. Keeping up regular maintenance payments to Ari is just common sense."

 

Sonny nodded. "I think I'd like to go upstairs now."

 

"Sure son," said Justin sadly. 

 

* * *

 

Justin tried to get him alone to talk about the end of his marriage, but Sonny always found other things to do, places to be. 

 

Finally Justin caught up with him. 

 

"Were you thinking of moving back to Salem?" said Justin.

 

"I can't," said Sonny. "Ari is here. And there's nothing for me in Salem any more." 

 

Justin says, "There is something else I wanted to talk to you about. It's about Paul."

 

"What about him?" said Sonny, looking neutral. 

 

"He asked me to represent him. He wants to sue the production company that made the film."

 

"Can he do that?" said Sonny. 

 

"I don't think we can stop the film from screening, but we can sue for damages, arguing that the film is using his name to promote it, and that he has not seen any profit from it," says Justin. "I just want to know if you are okay with me taking the case."

 

"You should do it, if you want," said Sonny. 

 

"And - um -" Justin said. "Even though I am not working for _Mad World_ anymore, I know that Paul is in San Francisco at the moment promoting the brand."

 

"Is he?" said Sonny. 

 

"You could see him. I am sure he would like to talk to you. San Francisco is only four hours away."

 

"I wouldn't know what to say," said Sonny.  

 

* * *

 

_San Francisco, California_

 

Sonny was sitting in the high-hedged garden belonging to Paul's grandfather. He had impulsively decided to visit Paul's home, knowing that Paul would likely be staying with his family.

 

But Paul wasn't here, and Sonny felt foolish for coming. He had tried to excuse himself and leave, but Paul's old grandfather had pulled at his sleeve and gestured for him to follow him, as he shuffled into the private garden, along a stone path, bordered by traditional Japanese plants. Sonny followed over the arched drum bridge, until they came to a table bordered on all sides by high hedges.  

 

Paul's grandfather invited him to sit and took the seat opposite him.

 

"I'm Sonny Kiriakis," Sonny said, and the old gent nodded and gave him his own name in Japanese.

 

Sonny asked, "Is Paul here?"

 

The old man said something else and shook his head. He pulled a paper out of his pocket and showed it to Sonny. It was a flyer for Will's film.  

 

The old man said something in Japanese again, and his lined thin fingers moved across the page and pointed at the actor playing Sonny in the film. He looked at Sonny, questioningly.

 

So much for Paul's grandfather not knowing who he was.

 

"Yes," Sonny said. "That is meant to be me, but it isn't really a very good likeness."

 

The old man nodded, pleased.

 

A serving maid came out with a tray holding a pot of tea and two teacups, and some cakes, but the old man spoke to her at length and she nodded and took them away.

 

Sonny stood up, intending to say his goodbyes, but the old man stood up with him and gestured for him to sit down again.

 

The serving maid came out again a few minutes later, rolling a trolley with an urn on it, a small wooden box, two very old style Japanese bowls, and two plates with Japanese sweets. Paul's grandfather opened the box and scooped a teaspoonful of green powder into the bowl, partially filled it with water from the urn, and whisked it until it was mixed. He offered Sonny the plate of sweets, and gestured for him to take one, then he offered him the bowl of tea.

 

Sonny watched him prepare a second bowl of tea for himself.

 

As they sat in the garden, drinking traditionally prepared tea and not saying anything, Sonny thought about Paul and what he would have told him if he'd been here.  

 

_I wanted to see you._

 

Sonny's eyes suddenly filled with tears and he lowered his head.

 

Paul's grandfather put his hand on Sonny's shoulder and spoke to him in Japanese.

 

Sonny shook his head. He didn't understand why he was here. He didn't understand anything.

 

Paul's grandfather left the garden.  

 

* * *

 

_(Utah)_

 

_Sonny opens the door, and there is a nearly naked man wearing a towel, kissing his husband._

 

_"Sonny!" says Will, struggling out of the embrace. "This isn't - I'm not - It's not what it looks like."_

 

 _The other man turns around. He looks quite surprised and shocked to see Sonny there. Sonny recognises him; it is Gabi's friend, Trenton._  

 

_"I swear it Sonny, I swear, I am not cheating on you," says Will. "Please! You have to believe me."_

 

_Sonny shakes his head disbelievingly. Trenton is still touching his husband, still has his hands on Will's arms._

 

_It makes him sick._

 

_It makes him furious._

 

_Will says, "He came here wanting to get back together, but I told him, repeatedly I told him, that I was married and I couldn't. I swear it, Sonny. I told him to go away."_

 

_"Back together?" says Sonny. "You said back together? This has happened before?"_

 

_"He was - the one I told you about, the first time I travelled out to Los Angeles," _says_  Will. _

 

 _Will's Los Angeles fling._ "It didn't mean anything," Will had said. 

 

_"But - " says Sonny. "He's been coming to our apartment for months, pretending to be Gabi's friend - this is the first I've heard about it?"_

 

_"Sonny, I love our family. You are the one I want," _says_  Will. "Only you. Please. You have to believe me." _

 

 _"No," says Sonny. "No, I_ don't _."_

 

* * *

 

"Sonny?" said a man's voice, and Sonny raised his head and brushed the tears from his eyes.

 

John was standing there in a black shirt and jacket, holding a fist-sized box, tied with twine. 

 

"Hello, John," said Sonny. "How are you?"

 

"Hiro said that you were out in the garden," said John. 

 

"You speak Japanese now?" said Sonny.

 

"No, but we have our own way of communicating. May I sit down?" 

 

Sonny nodded. 

 

"I am sorry to hear about you and Will," said John. "Is there any hope there?"

 

Sonny shook his head. "We're getting a divorce."

 

"For what it's worth, I talked to Will, and he seems very sincere," said John. "The guy ingratiated himself into your household by pretending to be Gabi's friend, made a play for Will, and couldn't take no for an answer."

 

"Is that what he told you?" said Sonny.

 

"It's what I heard," said John. 

 

"Will can be very convincing when he wants to be," said Sonny. 

 

"You don't believe him?"

 

"It doesn't matter what I believe," said Sonny. "Will is the one divorcing me."

 

John looked startled. 

 

"I didn't know that," he said. 

 

They sat quietly in the garden for a while. 

 

John asked, "Did you come here to see Paul?"

 

Sonny said, "It was - an impulse."

 

"He's not here right now," said John. "He's gone away for the weekend with a friend of his."

 

Oh. Sonny thinks about that. 

 

"What did you want with him?" said John. "I'm sorry, usually Doc does this kind of thing. I'm no good at it - and I know it's none of my business, but I worry about my son."

 

"Is he okay?" said Sonny concerned.  

 

"He's fine. Actually he's doing well. He seems really happy. The thing that I'm worried about, the thing I was referring to, was his feelings _for you_ ," said John.  

 

"Oh," said Sonny. 

 

"It has taken Paul a long time to come to terms with his feelings for you, and he's just started to put his life in order again. I know you care about Paul, but you've just experienced an emotional upheaval. I just - if you want to start something up again - all I'm asking is that you make sure that Paul really is the one you want."

 

"I didn't come here to get together with Paul," said Sonny. 

 

As soon as he hears his own words he wonders if they are even true. Because Sonny has just been cut from his family, and is twisting in the air like a leaf on the wind and the thought of being with Paul makes him feel as if he belongs _somewhere_.

 

"I just remembered some things I have to do. Could you say goodbye to Paul's grandfather for me?" Sonny says.

 

"Sure I will," John said. He pulled out his small wrapped box. "Actually this is from him. He wanted me to give it to you."

 

"Thanks."

 

Sonny said goodbye, took the box and left.

 

* * *

 

In his hotel room, Sonny thought about his visit with John. 

 

John was right. Sonny wasn't sure what his feelings for Paul were anymore. He wasn't sure of anything. He needed to clear his mind and regroup. 

 

Sonny took out his phone and noticed that he had three new messages. 

 

They were all from Brent. 

 

_"Hey buddy," says Brent. "I have been trying to get hold of you. Call me back."_

 

_"Hey Sonny, it's Brent. How would you feel about working on a documentary in the Yukon mountains?"_

 

_"Sonny, I need to talk to you urgently. Call me."_

 

That's when Sonny remembers the gift from Hiro, and cuts open the string. 

 

Inside, wrapped in a sheet of tissue paper, is Paul's home run baseball. 


	6. Hollywood

Brent called to ask him if he wanted to work on a new documentary series in Canada. 

 

Sonny said, "Will you let me think about it? I am not sure I can leave town right now."

 

"Don't take too long," said Brent, hanging up. 

 

Justin noticed that Sonny seemed distracted at dinner and asked him if anything was wrong. Sonny told him about Brent's job offer, working on a documentary series in the Yukon mountains. 

 

"What did you tell him?" asked Justin. 

 

"I said I'd think about it," said Sonny. 

 

"I understand that the thought of packing up, pulling out your roots, and travelling might seem appealing to you right now," said Justin. "But I'm worried that it's not a solution, it's an escape."

 

"It's a job," said Sonny. 

 

"Yes. It is. But whenever you've been restless or unhappy before, your default position is to go and travel the world. I'm just saying, what if this time you stayed?"

 

"I don't know if there is anything for me in LA anymore, except Ari," said Sonny. "I can't seem to fit in here."

 

"Maybe you should give it a chance," said Justin. "You could stay here, with me, whilst you consider your options. There's a thriving LGBT community in West Hollywood. You can stay and be part of the LA Pride Celebration and Parade. Go out. Meet people."

 

"I'm not ready to date again yet, Dad."

 

"Not date, then. But make friends? You used to have so many growing up, that I could hardly keep track."

 

"I'll think about it," said Sonny. 

 

Sonny thought about it all weekend. In the end he pulled out his wallet and looked at the picture of Ari he kept in his wallet. 

 

He called Brent to tell him that he couldn't take the job. 

 

* * *

 

Sonny got work serving tables and tending bar in West Hollywood. It was familiar work, but still a far cry from running his own business. Sonny was quiet, quick, polite and efficient when he came to work, but his manager, Dylan, pulled him up one day and said that he needed to improve his attitude. The customers didn't come into the bar to be brought down by a morose waiter. They wanted to enjoy themselves.

 

"Be _fun_ ," said Dylan. "Flirt with the gay guys, chat up the straight girls. You're a good looking guy. Work it. _Above all, smile._ "

 

Sonny was struggling. Once upon a time that would have been so easy.

 

Not anymore.

 

* * *

 

As Sonny's star fell, Will's shone brighter.

 

Will was still riding high on the success of his first feature, and the second feature he'd pitched to the studio, " _A Mother's Tears: The Gabriela Hernandez Stor_ y", was green-lit to go into production. Will was the script-writer and executive producer, and Gabi was hired as a story consultant. 

  

Justin's work on securing a divorce settlement from Will had created friction with Gabi.

 

Will had acted as if he didn't mind, but the next time Sonny came to the flat to pick up Ari for a visit, Will was already gone and he was met by Gabi, whose attitude towards him was distinctly frosty.  

 

"Will's not here," she said.

 

"I didn't come to see Will," said Sonny. "I came to see _Ari_."

 

Gabi readied Ari and packed the things she'd need for their trip to the beach into a tote bag. 

 

"Just so you know. I have never tried to keep Ari from you," said Gabi. "You didn't need to bring your father into this."

 

"I didn't think you were deliberately trying to keep her from me," said Sonny. "I just got the impression that it didn't matter to you whether I saw her or not. But it matters to _me_."

 

Ari wobbled into the room. She was walking now.

 

Sonny was so proud of her. 

 

"Hey gorgeous," Sonny said. He lifted her up and she latched onto Sonny with both arms. 

 

At least Ari was glad to see him. 

 

* * *

 

Sonny had been paying visits to Ari regularly, but whenever he visited Will and Gabi's apartment, Will was never there. It was starting to become obvious that Will didn't want to see him, but Sonny thought that if they could only talk, they could clear the air between them, and perhaps ease some of the tension that he felt when he came over. It seemed like he hadn't spoken to Will in months. 

 

Sonny decided to pay an impromptu visit to Gabi and Will's apartment and Will answered the door. He looked really surprised to see Sonny there. 

 

"Oh. It's you," he said. "I thought - Never mind. Is something the matter?"

 

"Can I come in?" said Sonny. 

 

"It's not really a great time, I'm just getting ready to go out," said Will. 

 

"It won't take more than a minute," said Sonny, entering the apartment. "The thing is, I've been noticing that you're always somewhere else when I come to pick up Ari, and I just wanted to ask, straight up, whether you're trying to avoid me? Are you still that upset about the divorce settlement?"

 

"No, no," said Will. "It has nothing to do with that. I've just been really busy."

 

"Who was at the door?" said Gabi, coming in from the bedroom. 

 

"Oh," she said, when she saw Sonny. "It's you. You know, don't you, that this is not your day to pick up Ari?"

 

"I just wanted to have a word with Will," said Sonny. "In _private_."

 

"Ok- _ay_ ," said Gabi, raising her hands in surrender. 

 

The doorbell rang.

 

"It looks like today just isn't going to be your day," she said. 

 

She opened the door, and a tall man with extremely white teeth and a large smile came into the room.

 

He hugged Gabi first, then said to Will, "Hey Will, are you ready for our date?"

 

The strange thing was that Sonny knew him from tv.

 

When he saw Sonny he said, "Hello. You're new."

 

Sonny stared at him in surprise and the actor gave Sonny his hundred-watt smile. After a while it faltered when Sonny didn't smile back. 

 

"I'm sorry," said Captain Hollywood. "Have I come at a bad time?"

 

"No, no," said Sonny. "I was just leaving."

 

"Sonny- " said Will. 

 

"I'll talk to you about that thing some other time," said Sonny, on his way out. 

 

* * *

 

The next time Sonny arrived to pick up Arianna, Will was there. 

 

"I just wanted to explain-" said Will. 

 

"You've moved on, I get it," said Sonny.

 

"It was months after we separated," said Will. "I was in a bit of a dark place, and he just made me feel better. Like I was worth something."

 

"You're blaming me, now, for your cheating?" said Sonny.

 

"No," said Will. "I know why you'll never be able to trust me. Believe me. But when I'm with him, I don't feel as if I'm such a screw-up. I don't feel like a cheat and a liar. It's a completely clean slate, and I can start over. Tell me you understand."

 

"I do," said Sonny. "But I wonder if you do."

 

"What do you mean?" said Will. 

 

_You can start over as many times as you want, but when it comes down to it, you're still you. Still stuck._

 

"Never mind," said Sonny. "I just came to pick up Ari. Is she ready now?"

 

"Sonny, if you want to talk -"

 

"No," said Sonny. 

 

Will gave up and fetched Ari for him. She waved her arms at him to pick her up. 

 

He spun them around when he gave her a hug, so he would not have to look into Will's face. 

 

* * *

 

 

Justin told Sonny that he'd gotten a call from Will and Gabi's lawyer.

 

"You need to stay away from there, and not go to see them outside your scheduled visitation with Ari," said Justin. 

 

"I only went the once, Dad," said Sonny. 

 

"Apparently Gabi says that you have sometimes come by at least two or three hours early to pick her up," said Justin. 

 

"That was before, when Gabi kept making excuses for me not to come, and organising play dates on my visitation days," said Sonny.

 

"She can't do that anymore," said Justin, "But you need to keep to the schedule now, or Gabi may restrict your visitation even further. Her lawyer even hinted as much."

 

Sonny tried to call Will, but Will was out of town and wouldn't answer his messages.

 

"I'm not sure that talking to Will is such a good idea," said Justin. 

 

"The studio says that he is away location scouting," said Sonny. "But if he was here, I know he wouldn't want to keep me from Ari. This is Gabi's doing Dad. Will has always supported my parental rights."

 

"Things change after divorce," said Justin sadly. 

 

"Not this," said Sonny. "Will wouldn't do this."

 

" _Sonny_ ," said Justin. "You're not Will's husband any more. Don't you think that it's time to let go? You can't keep thinking of him like that."

 

 _"I don't understand why he changed,"_ said Sonny. 

 

"Son," said Justin. "Nobody understands when it's happening to them."

 

* * *

 

Justin said, "I think I was wrong about that job in Canada. I think if it's still available you should take it. Go away for a few months. I'll work on the practicalities of putting the money from the divorce settlement into a trust account for Ari."

 

"I shouldn't leave," said Sonny. "Gabi might change her mind about visitation."

 

Justin said, "Sonny, seeing you right now just sets her off. Have you thought that taking the time away might do all of you some good? Help you get a new perspective on the situation?"

 

Sonny said, "Is this your way of telling me I suck?"

 

"No," said Justin. "You never suck. You're just not quite yourself at the moment."

 

"I'll give Brent a call," said Sonny. "But I think it's already too late. They've probably already started filming."

 

* * *

 

When Sonny called Brent, Brent told him that the documentary was currently postponed because they couldn't get permissions for filming from the Canadian authorities. 

 

"We've been working on changing over to Alaska instead," said Brent. "I don't know how long that is going to take. But I'll tell Rob that you're interested and I'll get back to you."

 

 


	7. Alaska

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of changing the rating to explicit for this chapter, but I think it still falls under mature, so I will just warn for it here.

It had been a strange, emotional journey camping and mountain climbing with five other gay men in Alaska.

 

Sonny thought that he might find some kind of solace in travel, but the demands of the shooting schedule and the personalities of the film crew, compounded with his crumbling family life, frayed at the edges of his temper. In front of the camera, he was smiling Sonny. Outside of it, his moods flipped on a dime from sadness and apathy, to irritation and pure rage. 

 

In other circumstances, he might have enjoyed the company of the film crew more, but between Fleming's histrionics, Jorge's temper tantrums, Rob's grandiose ambitions for his film, and Levi's passive aggressive attempts to prove that he was the biggest dick on the mountain (which Sonny was convinced he _was_ , but not in the way that Levi intended), Sonny found himself distancing himself from everybody, and spending as much time as he could alone. The only person who didn't irritate him was Brent. His calm unflappable nature was a relief from the _sturm und drang_ of Sonny's chaotic feelings. 

 

At night, after the day's filming, Sonny had plenty of time to think about Will. 

 

He remembered, with astonishing clarity, the moment that he'd proposed to Will and Will had said no. He remembered their first kiss and Will pushing him away. He remembered how he'd crushed on Will when they were just friends, and how he never thought that Will would want him in return, because Will was so much more interested in working for EJ, than spending time with Sonny. 

 

He remembered his first mock proposal - and his suggestion that they could go camping on their honeymoon - and how he'd laughed at Will's discomfort when he hadn't realised that Sonny had been kidding. He remembered the way Will had side-eyed him when he'd read the New Year resolutions in Sonny's wish tin. Until that point in time, Will probably hadn't realised how much of a sap Sonny really was.

 

Romantic and impulsive, Sonny had viewed his relationship with Will through the filter of his own bright expectations, always seeing the positive and never reading the signs that had always been there from the start. 

 

Will hadn't been ready.

 

Sonny hadn't seen it. 

 

Sonny had almost left Will, twice, for lying to him, after he found out that Will had gotten Gabi pregnant with their child and after he'd learnt of Will's infidelity. And, for as long as Will still clung to their relationship, Sonny believed it meant that he'd wanted Sonny, too. But now Sonny thought that maybe Will's need to cling was a reflex from living on the edge with Sami; clinging to the nearest available life-raft, as he was tossed on turbulent emotional waters navigating from one family disaster to the next. 

 

Will had never been as interested in Sonny as when he thought Sonny was leaving him, or someone else was trying to take him away.

 

Not until their very last argument, when Will had given up on them.

 

Will had said that he couldn't go on living with Sonny, if Sonny couldn't trust him. He also still believed that Sonny was using Will as a replacement for Paul, as if Sonny was filling a husband-sized hole with whatever material was at hand. Sonny was never able to make Will understand that he existed in his own place in Sonny's heart and mind. When he'd gone, he'd left Sonny riddled with a Will-sized void, to add to all the other hurts created by Sonny's past failed relationships.

 

* * *

 

They moved their campsite to some rustic cabins high up in the mountains, and many of the crew suddenly found themselves paired off and sharing rooms. The journey, which had been about survival skills so far, had started to become more about who wanted to be paired with who, and who wanted to change their companions with someone else. The personalities were coming to the fore and were starting to grate on Sonny's nerves. 

 

By this time, it was becoming clear to Sonny that Rob's interest in him was not quite platonic.

 

( _"Really? Do you think?"_ said Brent, amused that Sonny had only just figured this out.) 

 

Now that he had become aware of it, the film director's attention had started to make Sonny feel uncomfortable, and he wondered how soon it would be before he was forced to give him the "lets be friends" talk. But during the cabin switch, Brent had swept in to claim him as a room-mate before anybody else could, and Sonny was grateful for that small mercy.

 

After the first survival pairings had been settled upon, the behind the scenes jockeying and negotiating really started. 

 

Fleming came up to him at lunchtime, and made a point to mention that Jorge was interested in Brent, and maybe Sonny should consider coming in with him instead, for Jorge and Brent's sake. When Sonny asked Brent if he wanted to change rooms and doss down with Jorge, Brent said, "Dear God, no."

 

And that was the end of that. 

 

* * *

 

Rob compromised his artistic ambitions for the "truth" of the survival experience by allowing the crew to make one call a week to the outside world on his satellite phone. Sonny spoke with his father, and Justin seemed to be amused by the stories of set life, asking Sonny if he'd joined a reality TV show without realising it. 

 

Justin said that things were well at home and that Gabi had asked when he was coming back. Ari was missing him. He said that Paul had paid him a visit and was disappointed to find that Sonny was no longer there.

 

"You never told me that you went to San Francisco," said Justin. "Paul said that you'd come to his home, and talked to his father and grandfather."

 

"Yeah," said Sonny. 

 

"Sonny, you're killing me with the lack of detail," said Justin. 

 

"Nothing happened," said Sonny. "It was a mistake. I shouldn't have gone."

 

"I got the impression that Paul wants to see you," said Justin. 

 

"I don't think I'm ready for that yet," said Sonny. 

 

They talked some more and said their goodbyes. 

 

After he'd disconnected the phone, Sonny went back to his cabin to think. He opened his back-pack, and went rooting through his belongings until he found the object he was looking for. 

 

Packing it had been a last minute idea. He'd thought it might bring him luck. 

 

As he lay on top of his pallet, repeatedly tossing the baseball into the air and catching it, his mind started to empty of thoughts. Brent came in and flopped down on the pallet next to him. Sonny caught the ball one last time, and tucked it back into his backpack. He turned over, and blew out the lamp. 

 

"Good night, Sonny," said Brent.

 

"Good night," said Sonny. He fell quickly to sleep. 

 

* * *

 

Letting go of his marriage was difficult, but gradually Sonny felt his loss, anger and hurt start to fade away.

 

Brent let him _unload_ about his marriage, and didn't seem to mind being Sonny's sounding board.

 

After a while Sonny didn't feel the need to talk about it anymore, and was happy to just be. 

 

Day to day survival skills, the gathering of food and the herding their charges out of the way of disaster, took over from Sonny's former preoccupations. 

 

His heart became a little more quiet.

 

* * *

 

Sonny was restless. 

 

He kicked the covers and pulled on his jacket and shoes. 

 

"Are you going out?" said Brent, from the darkness. 

 

"Just for a minute," said Sonny. 

 

Outside the cabin, the stars in the Alaskan night sky shone bright like white pinholes in the sky. The mountain was frosty with chill air that turned Sonny's breath to cloudy vapour. There was a soft fresh fall of snow powdering the ground. Sonny watched it for a while. It was completely calm, completely quiet outside. After a while he could feel the chill seep into his hands. His nose felt cold. He went back inside.

 

He was freezing. 

 

As he took off his shoes and overcoat, he looked over at the Brent shaped lump on the sleeping pallet next to his. 

 

"Brent," he whispered. 

 

"Hmm," said Brent. 

 

"Can I sleep with you?"

 

"Mmph," said Brent, but his hand flapped up for a few seconds and Sonny took that as permission to dive under the covers. 

 

"Shit, you're cold," said Brent, feeling him brush against him. 

 

"I know," said Sonny, curled up and shivering. 

 

"Sonny?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"You're not having some kind of breakdown right now are you?" said Brent. 

 

"No," Sonny sighed. "I'm just cold. I'll be all right in a few minutes."

 

"Just checking," said Brent. 

 

He wrapped his arms around Sonny, and pulled him closer. Sonny rolled over and flattened himself against Brent to absorb some of his heat. They stayed like that for a while. Sonny felt the warmth return to his body. But he still didn't move away. 

 

"You know what this reminds me of?" said Brent. 

 

"Billy Arturo's party in the dorms," said Sonny. 

 

"Yeah," said Brent. "Remember how drunk we were that night?" Sonny could hear the smile in his voice. 

 

"Everybody else was pairing off, so we went to one of the empty dorm rooms and started making out," said Sonny.

 

"Young teen lust," said Brent. "That was a close call."

 

"Do you think, if we'd done it, we would have still been friends afterwards?" said Sonny. 

 

Brent was quiet.

 

"Brent?" said Sonny. 

 

Sonny felt Brent's hand brush against his cheek. 

 

He said, "Back then, I don't know. We might have done something stupid, like decide we should become boyfriends."

 

"I'm not looking for a boyfriend," said Sonny.

 

"There's still so much I want to do, before I even think of settling down," said Brent. 

 

He pulled Sonny closer and Sonny could feel his breath fan in his ear. Sonny's heartbeat thumped in his chest. Brent curled his palm under Sonny's jawbone, and kissed Sonny slowly, experimentally. Eventually their lips peeled apart. 

 

Sonny's breaths sounded loud in his ears. 

 

"Sonny?" said Brent. "Are you ok?"

 

"Is it weird," said Sonny, "That we're thinking of doing this, after all this time?"

 

"At this point I think it might be more weird if we didn't," said Brent. "But it's your call. I can always go out in the snow for a few minutes."

 

Sonny said, "No, you don't have to do that."

 

Brent rolled them over, and they made out some more on the sleeping pallet. Sonny held on to Brent's shoulders, as they kissed with tongues, teeth and lips. Brent started to explore Sonny's body with his hands, sneaking them under Sonny's t-shirt, and slipping his palms under the waistband of Sonny's pants.

 

Sonny broke off the kiss. "I didn't bring any stuff," he said. "I suppose we could ask one of the guys, but their reactions -"

 

"Don't bother them," said Brent. "I was a good boy scout. I came prepared."  

 

He reached an arm out of the blankets and dragged his backpack closer. He searched through it for what he wanted, then quickly stripped off the rest of his clothes, as Sonny removed the rest of his, before they both got back under the covers where it was warm. 

 

Sonny felt a hysterical giggle almost leave his throat when he felt Brent's naked body slide up against his. But all he said was, "I was a boy scout, too." 

 

"I know," whispered Brent, drawing Sonny back into a kiss. Sonny felt himself starting to relax. His knees fell open and Brent's leg slid between them. Sonny wrapped his leg around him and drew him close.  

 

They moved against each other in the dark. Sonny took Brent's cock in his hands and started to stroke it, and Brent groaned and murmured against his neck. 

 

Sonny was very warm now. The cold returned for a short while when Brent shifted away to put on a condom, but then he was back again, and Sonny curled up against him.

 

"Oh God," Sonny said as Brent's fingers slid between Sonny's legs. Then Sonny started moving against them. 

 

"Okay?" said Brent.

 

Sonny nodded, and Brent took the place of his fingers, shifting between Sonny's legs, and sliding into him. Sonny gripped onto Brent's arms, as he was filled and stretched. They started rocking. 

 

It had been so long since Sonny had done this, since someone had touched him like this. 

 

The last person he'd made love to had been Will. That thought almost stopped him cold, but whilst his mind was reacting one way, his body was still responding to Brent. It short-circuited his brain for a moment and his mind went blank. 

 

Brent was leaning over him, saying, "Sonny? Is everything all right?"

 

Brent started to pull out of him. Sonny suddenly felt the loss of heat and warmth. 

 

Sonny said, _"Don't. Come back."_

 

He grabbed Brent with both arms and held him close.

 

"We don't have to do this if you don't want," said Brent. He touched Sonny's cheek.

 

 _"I want to,"_ said Sonny.

 

Sonny had spent months on the mountain contemplating the end of the marriage, and he had convinced himself that he had reconciled himself to it, only to find that there was one final barrier left. 

 

Sonny rolled Brent over so that Brent was on the bottom. He picked up where they'd left off, rocking and sliding against Brent, feeling the heat and friction build up inside, picking up speed and driving them both to completion. 

 

Hot and sticky and exhausted, Sonny finally acknowledged it. 

 

His marriage really was over. 

 

* * *

 

A week after having sex, Sonny and Brent were still friends. Surprisingly, things between them returned to normal.

 

Like it never happened. Not weird at all.

 

Except when Brent said, "Sonny, you're not getting a crush on me, are you?"

 

Sonny said, "No."

 

"Just checking," said Brent. "Did you want to have sex again?"

 

"Okay," said Sonny. 

 

Sonny enjoyed being with Brent, but in a way, it was like it was before, before Will, before Paul, when Sonny had sex with guys and didn't ask them to marry him. There was a part of himself that didn't get involved, that didn't feel the need to bind the other person to him and keep him close. 

 

After they'd had sex, Sonny said, "You're not going to fall in love with me, are you?"

 

"No," Brent huffed. 

 

"Because, you know, some guys find me pretty hard to resist," said Sonny. 

 

"You have a nice ass," said Brent. "I'll give you that."

 

Sonny thought that their friendship was going to come out of this just fine. 

 

* * *

 

The days of the shoot were gradually winding down, and the director finally had the footage he needed to edit his film. 

 

There were some "interesting" incidents on the set, like the time the boys wrangled Sonny into joining their game of strip poker. 

 

"I don't know," said Sonny. "I haven't played this for a while ..." He allowed himself to be persuaded, every so often asking advice about the rules of the game. "I used to play this with my old uncle when I was a kid," he said. "We played for macaroons."

 

As the game progressed, clothes were shed, but Sonny remained almost fully dressed throughout.

 

"Why do I get the feeling that you know this game better than you let on?" said Rob, in his tidy whities.

 

"I don't know," said Sonny. "Like I told you, I learned how to play from my elderly old uncle when I was a kid."

 

"I bet," said Fleming. 

 

"He is a con artist," said Jorge.

 

"Perhaps I did forget to mention the part where my elderly old uncle Victor owns casinos in Las Vegas, Paris and Monte Carlo," said Sonny. 

 

Brent shook with laughter. He still had his shoes and pants on. 

 

"Oh _lookee_ ," said Sonny, when it's time to show his hand. "A royal flush."

 

* * *

 

Brent said, "We may not see each other for a while, but, if you ever want to travel the world ..."

 

"I know who to call," finished Sonny. "Thanks. For everything."

 

Brent grabbed his backpack and carried it outside. Sonny looked around the room, to see if they'd forgotten anything. 

 

"Goodbye cabin," said Sonny. "We had some rocky times, but it was nice knowing you."

 

* * *

 

As Brent stood outside the cabin waiting for Sonny, Jorge was the first to see the visitor coming up the mountain.

 

"Native," said Jorge, watching the eskimo.

 

By the time he had come within twenty metres, Rob's posture suddenly changed. 

 

"Get the camera," he said, suddenly sensing an opportunity. 

 

Jorge went to get it, but Brent put a hand on his arm, stopping him. He'd recognised the visitor as well.

 

"Sonny," said Brent. "You should come out here."

 

Sonny appeared at the cabin door. "What is it?"

 

"Visitor," said Brent, nodding out at the snow. The visitor saw them and waved, and started towards the cabin. 

 

Sonny watched him approach. Startled, he called out "Paul?" 

 

At the sound of Sonny's voice, Paul looked up. 

 

" _Sonny_ ," Paul said, out of breath but smiling. "I've been looking for you _everywhere_."

 


	8. Epilogue

Sonny stayed at the cabin with Paul, whilst the rest of the crew went back down the mountain. 

 

("Good luck," said Brent, as he left.) 

 

Sonny made them soup for lunch, with hot coffee. 

 

"Did you get my grandfather's gift?" Paul asked. 

 

"The home run ball?" said Sonny. "I have it here." 

 

"You brought it with you?" said Paul, a small smile curling up the corner of his lip. 

 

"You can give it back to him if you want," said Sonny.

 

"No, no," said Paul. "You won't believe how mad he was at me when he found out I'd given it to you, and then asked for it back. He saw the movie. He was very struck by it."

 

"I know," said Sonny. "He showed me the flyer."

 

"He's mad at my father, too," said Paul. "He went to the house to ask John to talk to you because he thought Dad could convince you to stay. He was so mad when he found out he ran you off. And I don't think that John even noticed, because when my grandfather is mad, he is still very polite."

 

Sonny laughed. He rummaged through his backpack and held out the baseball to Paul. 

 

"I want your grandfather to have it," Sonny said. 

 

Paul shook his head. "My grandfather is very old school. If you return his gift, it might offend him. And I was hoping that you might want to keep it, because it reminds you of us."

 

Paul reached for Sonny's hands and took them in his.   

 

"Sonny, I came here to ask you for another chance. I know when you spoke to my father, he implied that I was seeing someone else. But that's not true. There is no-one else. Only you."

 

Sonny said, "I'm not the same person I was when we dated. I've changed so much since then."

 

"So have I," said Paul. "If you only knew how much I missed you, after you left."

 

"I get angry a lot of the time, now," said Sonny. "I hide my feelings. I'll wait until I have all the arguments worked out in my head before I get into a confrontation, so that I can always win it."

 

"You always were pretty fierce," said Paul. 

 

"I don't trust very easily. I don't like being lied to."

 

"I don't want to lie to you," said Paul. "I won't."

 

"If you let me, I'll walk all over you," said Sonny. "And if you're mad at me, you have to say something, because I don't want you holding it inside the whole time, secretly hating me for it."

 

"We'll fight and bicker like any couple," said Paul. 

 

"I have no secure job, no business, and no money, and a small child from a previous marriage that I'm committed to keeping in my life," said Sonny. 

 

"She's adorable," said Paul. 

 

"I have a past that may not include you," said Sonny. "And exes. Deal with it. I need you to be honest and not to keep secrets from me. I won't be pulled back into the closet."

 

"Agreed," said Paul. 

 

"That's it, I think," said Sonny, nervously, looking sideways at him. "Unless you want to tell me what you want."

 

Paul said, "All I want is another chance with you."

 

"Okay," said Sonny. 

 

"And I really, really, want to hold you right now," Paul said.


End file.
